someone you haven't met (seeingalexander) wrote,
someone you haven't met

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oh no!

Dear Mr. Valentine,
The streetlights are burnt-out.

I have to ask you a few questions. I feel nervous thinking about it.

Did I hurt your feelings?
Do you miss me?
Do you love me?
Are you angry?
Why are you gone?

I will give you my answers.
I am not going to be sick anymore. I promised myself. My cat has a tumour So of course I'm upset. I cried last night at Eleven. I don't know what I did wrong.

I'm listening to Une Annee Sans Lumiere. I'm depressed. I can feel it in bones like I am thirteen again. It hurts all over Alex. Everything is wrong. Jordan is coming by in two days to drop off her rabbit. I am going to watch over it for a month until she has a new home. I lost the job and it burns like fire. I couldnt go to the interview for bile instead. I feel stupid all of the time. I feel guilty and anxious. I feel numb too. I feel numb when I take showers. I feel numb when I wash my hair. I feel numb when I put on my ripped jeans an dold t shirts. I feel numb when I force myself to eat. I feel numb all of the time Alex.
I am so scared without you. I am so scared you won't come back this time. It seems like there is something different. I think I did something to change us. I think I loved you too much. I think I ruined everything.

I am sorry, friend, if you're gone for good.

I am so sorry for being who I am.
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